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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23206777">iris</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaatiekinss/pseuds/kaatiekinss'>kaatiekinss</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the sweet hereafter and what lies beyond [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Riverdale (TV 2017)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Break Up, Canon Compliant, Episode: s03e10 Chapter Forty-Five: The Stranger, F/M, Goodbye Sex, Missionary Position, Sleepy Cuddles, Smut, Varchie!Centric</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 08:53:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,516</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23206777</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaatiekinss/pseuds/kaatiekinss</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>It's over, they both know that, but as long as they don't say it, maybe it won't be real.</em>
</p><p>My imagining of that heartbreaking scene in 3x10, "Chapter Forty-Five: The Stranger". The title is taken from Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Archie Andrews/Veronica Lodge</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>the sweet hereafter and what lies beyond [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1666315</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>16</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>iris</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>
  <em>And I'd give up forever to touch you<br/>'Cause I know that you feel me somehow<br/>You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be<br/>And I don't want to go home right now</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And all I can taste is this moment<br/>And all I can breathe is your life<br/>And sooner or later it's over<br/>I just don't wanna miss you tonight</em>
</p><p>
  <em>And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming<br/>Or the moment of truth in your lies<br/>When everything feels like the movies<br/>Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive</em>
</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Archie walks into his bedroom and sees Veronica crying, his stomach drops. Even when things between them were good, she had gone to great lengths to hide or downplay her emotions. So, when he comes in and sees her sobbing, he knows something is terribly, terribly wrong.

</p><p>His first instinct is to comfort her.

</p><p>It never once dawned on him that she would be upset about Reggie. While it just about killed him, he meant what he said about how he didn’t want her waiting for him. His sincerity in that moment was genuine; he doesn’t know how to be anyway else, especially with Veronica. He hates that she thinks he’d be mad at her about that.

</p><p>Because, while the thought of Veronica being with someone else turns his stomach, he can’t be angry with her. Even if he wanted to be, he can’t. He just doesn’t have it in him to be upset with her. Archie listens to what she’s saying and the longer she speaks, the tighter his chest grows.

</p><p>When she tells him that she grew tired of missing him, that she was angry at him for leaving and not fighting for her, Archie thinks he might actually be sick. Had he been standing, he would have swayed on his feet and keeled over. 

</p><p>Part of him has always been at least subconsciously aware that he’s isn’t good enough for her. His greatest fear is that someday she’ll wake up and realize what he had always known to be true: that she deserves someone so much better than him. 

</p><p><em>“Will you stay with me?”</em>

</p><p>Archie’s eyes search her face, looking for something he can’t explain and desperately trying to communicate to her what he can’t find the words to say. Everything is so unsure now, but one thing that he'll never be uncertain about is how much he <em>needs</em>  her.

</p><p>Veronica's eyes meet his, big and brown and rimmed with thick, tear-soaked eyelashes, and then she nods and gives him a sad smile. Her eyes flick down to his lips and then back up to meet his eyes, and Archie feels like he's falling all over again.

</p><p>She's still crying as he kisses her and draws her into his lap. It makes his chest ache because he knows he's the reason for her tears. When he kisses her, he can taste the salt and feel the wetness, and it breaks him. It hurts him more than anyone or anything else ever could.

</p><p>He tells himself he doesn't know why he asked her to stay with him tonight, but that's a lie. He knows exactly why. It just hurts too much to admit it.

</p><p>Part of him had hoped, somewhat naively he now realizes, that they could just pick up where they left off. But too much time has passed, too much has changed, too much has happened for things to be the same as they were before.

</p><p>Deep down, he knows that it's over between them, but part of him thinks that admitting it to himself, to her, means it's real. And once he acknowledges it, once the words are out there, he can't take them back. Talking about it isn't an option.

</p><p>So, Archie doesn't talk. His mind is going a mile a minute, but he can't formulate any of the words bouncing around his head into coherent words and sentences. It's all a flurry of apologies and pleas and declarations of love, and he can't say any of them out loud and risk shattering this last little piece of togetherness they've got left.

</p><p>The way he kisses her is desperate, and if he wasn't so terrified about the fact that this may very well be the last time he'll be able to kiss her like this, he'd be embarrassed.

</p><p>Kissing Veronica has always left Archie feeling like wildfire was coursing through his body. Even that first time, when everything was new and shiny and unsure, kissing Veronica left him floored. It always does. He thinks it always will. Kissing Veronica is like his drug; he's become addicted to the way it makes him feel, to the way she tastes. How is he supposed to go on without that?

</p><p>Her thighs are clenched over his so tight Archie swears it'll leave bruises tomorrow, but he doesn't care. Any mark she leaves will be a reminder that she was really there and not some raven-haired dream he conjured up from his deepest fantasies.

</p><p>His hands find her waist and reunite with every little dip and curve he's become intimately familiar with. Veronica's hands caress his shoulders, his neck, his cheeks, and his ears, and her lips are feather light against his. When she pulls away to take her shirt off, Archie's eyes flutter open at the loss of contact. He hadn't even realized he closed them.

</p><p>And that's how it's always been with Veronica. He finds himself doing things for her without realizing, like carving out a spot in his life that she so effortlessly filled.

</p><p>They're entirely in sync as they take their shirts off and Archie is faced with one of his favorite sights in the entire world. It's not just her body that he loves, although he does love it, but the person she is on the inside.

</p><p>Veronica is more vulnerable than anyone realizes. She has been hurt over and over and over again by her family, by her friends, and, as much as it shames him to say it, by him. He hurt her; the one person she trusted never to do that. Archie doesn't expect her forgiveness because he doesn't even know if he can forgive himself.

</p><p>He holds her to him, tighter than he ever has before as he leans back onto the bed and rolls them, so they're laying side by side. He's got one hand wrapped around her back, his fingertips running up and down her rib cage like hers on the keys when she plays the piano. He can feel the goose bumps that erupt in his wake, and by some spiritual connection, his skin reacts with hers, the hair on his arms standing up as she grabs his forearm.

</p><p>The other hand is cradling her face, his hand buried in those ebony locks, his thumb caressing her cheek as he kisses her. Her heeled foot is hooked around the back of his thigh so she can hold him close to her.

</p><p>Although he knows where this is going, he would be perfectly content to hold her and kiss her just like this until the end of his days. Every second longer she spends with him is a gift and a blessing he's not sure he deserves but he sure as hell appreciates.

</p><p>He doesn't want to break the kiss, but he has to so he can scoop her up and lay her back against his pillows. Veronica blinks up at him, her cheeks still glistening from her tears and Archie actually has to close his eyes to stop the tears he knows are right there and ready to fall.

</p><p>Archie kisses her again, harder this time. He's vaguely aware of her hands gliding down his naked chest and unbuttoning his jeans and pushing them down as far as she can reach. Archie finishes it for her and shoves the denim off his legs completely. His Levi's join their shirts on the floor of his bedroom; her skirt lost somewhere in the folds of his duvet.

</p><p>In all of their time together, Archie has never been so greedy to look at her, to touch her, to press his nose to her skin and breathe her in. Because this is the last time that he'll be able to be with her like this and he's not going to waste a single moment of it.

</p><p>Veronica is trembling; from what he doesn't know, but she goes heart-stoppingly still when Archie pulls her panties down her legs and tosses them to the vast expanse of his duvet to join her skirt. He distracts her with his kisses, paying special attention to that spot where her neck and shoulder meet. Veronica sighs shakily against him and pulls him up to gaze at him. There are a million questions in her eyes, questions Archie has no answers to, and he's sure that his eyes are asking the same things.

</p><p>Her smile is heartbreaking. So is his.

</p><p>He manages to find a condom in the bedside table and puts it on while Veronica gets out of her bra, throwing it on the floor like it isn't hundreds of dollars of lace, silk, and tulle.

</p><p>That first meeting of skin as Archie pushes inside, wrapping her legs around him and balancing his weight on his arms on either side of her head, is bittersweet. Veronica pulls him as close as is humanly possible, curling her hands in his hair and holding his gaze, forehead to forehead.

</p><p>This time is so much different. It's not like that night by the fire. Nor is it like that last time in the bunker before he ran away. This feels so <em>final.</em> He can feel his heart cracking a little bit more with each flex of his hips and each of her ragged breaths washing across his skin.

</p><p>When they come together, Archie grasps her hand from where it's fallen on the pillow above her head and intertwines their fingers before pressing them into the fabric. Her other hand grips his forearm hard enough to draw blood while his other hand grips her hip with that same kind of desperation.


</p><p>When it's over and Archie's finally come back down to Earth, he tucks Veronica into his side like he always has and runs his fingers up and down her arm, his touch softer than butterfly wings.


</p><p>He sleeps so soundly with her there beside him. He can't imagine never being able to hold her like this again.


</p><p>And when Veronica slips out of bed before the sun rises, he pretends to be sound asleep still, even though all he wants to do is beg her to stay. But he can't find the words. He lies there in silence while she gets dressed and when she walks back towards the bed, he dares to hope that maybe she'll stay anyway. But it's only so she can pet his hair away from his forehead and place a kiss there. He can feel her tears again, they're cold against his warm skin, and this is his last chance to say something, anything, but he's paralyzed. He follows the sound of her exit across his bedroom floor, down the stairs and out the front door, all without a single word.


</p><p>It isn't until he hears the car pull away from the curb that he allows himself to fall apart.


</p><p><em>”I’m sorry,”</em>, he says, <em>I love you.”</em>


</p><p>---


</p><p>This can't be happening.


</p><p>When Archie was gone, and she was with Reggie, it was easy to pretend. Being with him was easy. She didn't have to worry about falling for Reggie. He was loyal and a sufficient distraction, two things she desperately needed after Archie left.


</p><p>
  But now that he's back and now that he knows about Reggie, Veronica feels like the carefully crafted control she's managed to keep on her emotions these past few months is slipping.


</p><p>Her life is falling down around her.
</p><p>Archie walks into his room, his handsome face twisted in worry. Worry for her, the girl that kissed his friend while he was bleeding out in the middle of nowhere, scared and alone. The girl that let her father send him away to be punished for a crime he didn't commit. His concern only makes her cry harder.

</p><p>Veronica’s mind is spinning, and she's tired.<em>So tired.</em>


</p><p>When he tells her that she doesn't have to explain; that she didn't do anything wrong, Veronica wants to scream. How is he so good? He has every right to be angry, God knows she would be, but he's not. And she knows this because it's Archie and she can read him like a book. He's never been good at hiding his emotions like she is. His poker face is terrible.


</p><p>She wants him to be mad. She wants him to yell and lose his temper. Because that's easier for her to deal with then this understanding tone he has right now, he should be upset, and he isn't. It's almost infuriating.


</p><p>She tells him how she felt, the words she's kept locked up since the day he left pouring out of her mouth and Veronica is powerless to stop them.


</p><p>They were supposed to fight her father together. He was supposed to come home to her, to Fred, to Betty and Jughead. Her father wasn't supposed to win.


</p><p>Part of her is <em>so angry</em> with him. And she didn't even realize how angry until Archie was sitting beside her again, looking at her with those deep brown eyes and telling her he understands.


</p><p>Archie looks resigned. He seems accepting. Like part of him was anticipating this and he's already prepared himself for this moment.


</p><p>And when he says they'll finish the conversation tomorrow; she knows it's a bad idea. Putting it off will only make it hurt more.


</p><p><em>“Will you stay with me?”</em>


</p><p>And of course, the answer is yes, how could it be anything else? Because even when their time together has run out, Veronica is selfish. She wants Archie just as much as she always has; maybe even more. And she'll take whatever he has left to give her and do the same in return.


</p><p>She nods slowly, smiles sadly, and when she meets Archie's eyes again, it feels different. Before loving him made her feel good. Now it makes her hurt because she knows the price. She knows what it's like to love and be loved by Archie Andrews and there will never be anything else that can possibly compare to that. And now she knows what it's like to lose him.

</p><p>She hates it. She hates that when she looks at him now, she doesn't have that heart fluttering, stomach-churning, earth-stopping feeling. Loving Archie had always been so simple. So easy. She loved him, and he loved her, and that was enough. But it's not anymore, and she wishes more than anything that it was.


</p><p>When she looks at him right now, her chest clenches and tears spill and she hates it, God, how she hates it. This isn't supposed to be how it ends for them.


</p><p>His eyes search her face, and in them swim a million different questions. Veronica tries her damndest to answer them, but how can she when the same ones are reflected in her own eyes? He leans in to kiss her, and at the first touch of their lips, Veronica inhales sharply. And she melts.

</p><p>Veronica melts into him just like she always has, and despite the ache in her chest and the tears dampening her cheeks, wants him just as much as she did after that first kiss.

</p><p>She doesn't want to think about why Archie asked her to stay tonight. Maybe it's because saying the words out loud makes it real. And right now, that isn't what either of them needs. She can see that he's thinking. His mind racing as he tries and fails to string words together into sentences. Veronica understands because she feels the same way.

</p><p>The kiss turns desperate, his hands tightening on her waist and holding her impossibly close. Veronica's thighs tense around his, her body's natural response to his touch to hold on tighter. They take off their shirts in sync.

</p><p>When Archie leans back and rolls onto his side, his grip on her body, Veronica meaning he takes her with her, Veronica relaxes. They're facing each other, one of Archie's hands wrapped around her back, his fingertips strumming up and down the soft skin of her ribs. Her skin prickles with goosebumps wherever it meets him, another natural reaction to his touch she can't control. She grasps his forearm, feeling the hard muscle under soft skin and the hair stand on end.


</p><p>They're still kissing; no move has been made to undress each other any further and truthfully, what's happening right now would be enough: Archie's large, warm hand buried in her hair, holding her head in place so he can kiss her as deeply as he wants to.


</p><p>When he pulls away, she almost makes a noise of protest, but then he moves her back against the pillows. So tender, so gentle.


</p><p><em>I love you.</em>


</p><p>That's what she wants to say as she meets his eyes, her cheeks sticky and raw from drying tears. Archie blinks hard; it's what he does when he's trying not to cry; trying to hold it all in. She may not have said it, but it doesn't matter. He knows.


</p><p>When he kisses her again, she's distracted for a moment before her hands move on their own. She glides them down his chest to the waistband of his jeans, sliding the button open and pushing the denim as far down as she can reach. He does the rest himself, and her skirt falls away somewhere in the plaid sheets.


</p><p>In all of their time together, Veronica doesn't ever think she's been so greedy to look at him, to touch him, to taste him, to press her nose to his skin and breathe him in. Her brain knows this is the last time even if her heart won't admit it, and she wants to experience this while he's still hers.


</p><p>She can't stop trembling now matter how many deep breaths she takes. And when Archie pulls her panties down her legs, warm fingers brushing the sensitive skin of her thighs, Veronica goes still. Archie kisses her again, zeroing in on that spot right where her neck and shoulder meet.


</p><p>She hopes he leaves a mark. 


</p><p>Her exhale is shaky, and she pulls his head to meet her gaze, all of those questions still hanging in the air between them. 


</p><p>The smiles they exchange are heartbreaking.


</p><p>While Archie digs through his bedside table, Veronica gets out of her bra, for once not giving a damn about where the expensive garment falls.


</p><p>When Archie climbs back over her and pushes inside, that meeting of skin is bittersweet. He wraps her legs around him and balances his weight above her on his forearms. With shaking hands, Veronica pulls Archie close to her, curling her fingers in the hair at the back of his neck, their bodies pressed together from forehead to thigh.


</p><p>She thinks back to the last few times they did this. That night by the fire, under the stars, the last night before everything changed forever. Or the bunker, the goodbye sex she didn't know they were having until after he had already gone.


</p><p>This feels different. Before, she had always taken comfort in the fact that no matter what happened, at least they would always have tomorrow.


</p><p>But tomorrow has come, and they're out of time. The present feels finite; once it's over, that's it.


</p><p>Archie is making these pained noises as he moves, and Veronica is crying, and when he groans and whispers out that he's close, she kisses him. Sloppy and desperate and hoping to convey all the things she can't possibly say.


</p><p>And when they come together, Archie grasps her hand from where it's resting on the pillow beside her head and intertwines their fingers, pressing them into the fabric and gripping her hip with the other hand so hard, she's sure he'll leave a bruise. She has his forearm in a similar fashion, dark red nails digging into freckled skin.


</p><p>When it's over, Archie tucks her into his side like he always has and runs the tips of his fingers up and down her arm, the touch so soft, it's barely there at all.


</p><p>There in his arms, in his bed, is the first time in months Veronica has slept soundly.


</p><p>She wakes before the sun has risen, crawling carefully out of his embrace and putting her clothes back on, stealing glances at his sleeping form throughout. When she's dressed, she walks back to the bed and pets his vibrant hair away from his face, pressing a kiss to the scar between his eyebrows and smoothing out the furrow with her lips. It isn't until she pulls away from him that she realizes she's shed a few tears and that they've fallen onto his skin.


</p><p>Veronica has to force herself to leave him like that. She has to force herself to walk away. She descends the stairs as quietly as possible, taking care not to step on the third on from the top because it creaks.


</p><p>Smithers is waiting for her out front. Veronica keeps it together until the door is shut before she bursts into tears. She's gasping for breath, the sobs so violent they contort her chest with each inhale.


</p><p><em>“I’m sorry,”</em> she says, <em>“I love you.”</em>
 
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Originally published via my old account, TheVoicelessRomantic, on 5-25-2019, this is the second oneshot in my Varchie series, The Sweet Hereafter and What Lies Beyond. You can find me on tumblr @monicasposh.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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